Monday, December 19, 2011
Wow. My God is amazing and my spirit rejoices.
Jensey just sent this to me. Amazing. Merry Christmas, guys :)
Friday, December 16, 2011
mixed emotions.
i don't have time to write out my thoughts, and i'm too nostalgic and tired even get out of bed and make that attempt. blogging isn't necessarily as private, nor "classy" (for lack of a better word) as i would prefer, but it's clarifying nonetheless.
today i am your classic, confused, 18 year old girl at the start of the weekend right before finals week at the end of her first semester of her freshman year in college. i'm transferring next semester. i do believe it to be a God thing, but lately i've just been feeling very sad and perhaps even a sense of despondence at the thought of these next few days being my LAST few days as a student at ithaca college. as a speech-language pathology major. as luke keller's physics of sound student. as a part of JACKS5. and as the roommate of marley owen.
if anybody ever reads this, i do believe i will fall to pieces. is there a way i can make this private? we shall see.
today is jensey's 18th birthday. kiara and i purposely forced ourselves to stay awake despite our exhaustion, and made signs to decorate jensey's bedroom door. we quietly (miraculously) managed to tape these signs on her door and wait outside until exactly midnight, when we obnoxiously banged on her door and booked in back up the stairs to kiara's room, until we heard jensey's ever so predictable response: "AWWWWH YOU GUYS" ...TAPE STEALERS.
today was also my last day of classes as a first semester freshman. and my last day of classes at ithaca college, for probably forever. now that's a big deal and a lot to take in. annie, cris, jensey, kiara and i ate lunch in the pub today. i had margherita flatbread and by far the largest bottle of poland spring water i ever did see. i took my linguistics final at 2, which literally took me less than thirty minutes, and then we all took jensey to the mall to get her second holes pierced. we went to madeline's for dinner where i daringly (and very much out of character) gave my number to the waiter by writing it on the back of kiara's credit card receipt at the end of our meal. it was mostly just for funsies because it was something i would normally never ever do, a spur of the moment kind of thing, to live life on the edge. after all, i am in college. that's what college is for, right? so i might as well make the most of it. you know, no regrets type thing. which i feel like i really haven't been embracing in a while. but, i suppose that's another story.
after dinner, jensey and i went to awaken. awaken is one of ithaca's campus ministries, and i'm seriously so thankful for it. although that group is small, they seriously have some of the biggest hearts for God that i have ever been privileged enough to come in contact with. the first time i visited, i remember it making such an impact on me. i literally walked up to the pastor who spoke that night and thanked him for preaching the bible. the truth. God's truth. we immediately clicked and have consistently kept in contact ever since. with deep regrets, unfortunately it was difficult for me to attend many awaken fellowship meetings this semester due to other conflicts but it was so nice to see everyone again tonight, (and play taboo), and i'm sincerely going to miss them so much. i am so thankful for all of their hugs and prayers and encouraging words. and i will definitely be back to visit.
jensey and kiara came back to my room afterward, and we just sat in here and talked for a while. jensey has been worrying me lately because a while ago, we decided against going back to one of the campus ministries due to the fact that we did not want to be under the authority of leaders who are not even living for christ to their fullest potential. we both witnessed false teaching as well as a few other non-biblical events during our first few visits at evensong, so we both felt uncomfortable with a continuing attendance and participation in their group. tonight, on the other hand, jensey informed me that she is now playing piano for evensong's worship team. don't get me wrong- i am ecstatic for her, because i know she used to play piano for her church at home, and i also know that loves God so much and so passionately and that it will show through her playing, but at the same time, why would she want to be associated with so many hypocritical believers? i may just be being judgmental and perhaps even close minded but that's just how i feel about the situation. i will continue to pray for a change of heart and a renewal of the influence of the Lord on the lives of the people in evensong as well as awaken, as well as in my life. we could all use a little refreshment and heart adjustment every once in a while.
i just realized it's nearly 1:30 in the morning and i'm still typing this bit of a rampage. perhaps i should get going now, but there's still a lot on my mind. a lot i need to clear out. i'm sure a nice chat with God will do the trick, though.
goodnight, bloggers. not that anyone is reading this (i hope)
it's nice to be back.
today i am your classic, confused, 18 year old girl at the start of the weekend right before finals week at the end of her first semester of her freshman year in college. i'm transferring next semester. i do believe it to be a God thing, but lately i've just been feeling very sad and perhaps even a sense of despondence at the thought of these next few days being my LAST few days as a student at ithaca college. as a speech-language pathology major. as luke keller's physics of sound student. as a part of JACKS5. and as the roommate of marley owen.
if anybody ever reads this, i do believe i will fall to pieces. is there a way i can make this private? we shall see.
today is jensey's 18th birthday. kiara and i purposely forced ourselves to stay awake despite our exhaustion, and made signs to decorate jensey's bedroom door. we quietly (miraculously) managed to tape these signs on her door and wait outside until exactly midnight, when we obnoxiously banged on her door and booked in back up the stairs to kiara's room, until we heard jensey's ever so predictable response: "AWWWWH YOU GUYS" ...TAPE STEALERS.
today was also my last day of classes as a first semester freshman. and my last day of classes at ithaca college, for probably forever. now that's a big deal and a lot to take in. annie, cris, jensey, kiara and i ate lunch in the pub today. i had margherita flatbread and by far the largest bottle of poland spring water i ever did see. i took my linguistics final at 2, which literally took me less than thirty minutes, and then we all took jensey to the mall to get her second holes pierced. we went to madeline's for dinner where i daringly (and very much out of character) gave my number to the waiter by writing it on the back of kiara's credit card receipt at the end of our meal. it was mostly just for funsies because it was something i would normally never ever do, a spur of the moment kind of thing, to live life on the edge. after all, i am in college. that's what college is for, right? so i might as well make the most of it. you know, no regrets type thing. which i feel like i really haven't been embracing in a while. but, i suppose that's another story.
after dinner, jensey and i went to awaken. awaken is one of ithaca's campus ministries, and i'm seriously so thankful for it. although that group is small, they seriously have some of the biggest hearts for God that i have ever been privileged enough to come in contact with. the first time i visited, i remember it making such an impact on me. i literally walked up to the pastor who spoke that night and thanked him for preaching the bible. the truth. God's truth. we immediately clicked and have consistently kept in contact ever since. with deep regrets, unfortunately it was difficult for me to attend many awaken fellowship meetings this semester due to other conflicts but it was so nice to see everyone again tonight, (and play taboo), and i'm sincerely going to miss them so much. i am so thankful for all of their hugs and prayers and encouraging words. and i will definitely be back to visit.
jensey and kiara came back to my room afterward, and we just sat in here and talked for a while. jensey has been worrying me lately because a while ago, we decided against going back to one of the campus ministries due to the fact that we did not want to be under the authority of leaders who are not even living for christ to their fullest potential. we both witnessed false teaching as well as a few other non-biblical events during our first few visits at evensong, so we both felt uncomfortable with a continuing attendance and participation in their group. tonight, on the other hand, jensey informed me that she is now playing piano for evensong's worship team. don't get me wrong- i am ecstatic for her, because i know she used to play piano for her church at home, and i also know that loves God so much and so passionately and that it will show through her playing, but at the same time, why would she want to be associated with so many hypocritical believers? i may just be being judgmental and perhaps even close minded but that's just how i feel about the situation. i will continue to pray for a change of heart and a renewal of the influence of the Lord on the lives of the people in evensong as well as awaken, as well as in my life. we could all use a little refreshment and heart adjustment every once in a while.
i just realized it's nearly 1:30 in the morning and i'm still typing this bit of a rampage. perhaps i should get going now, but there's still a lot on my mind. a lot i need to clear out. i'm sure a nice chat with God will do the trick, though.
goodnight, bloggers. not that anyone is reading this (i hope)
it's nice to be back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)