Rainy days are perfect for drinking tea and snuggling up in bed with a good book.

So I picked up my bible. Immediately God gave me a scripture to share with my friend Kim. He has been using me a lot lately for things like that. But, that's not what I wanted to share.

I am so thankful for convictions that make me do a heart check. Where is my heart at? What are my treasures?

I haven't been feeling 100% myself over the past few weeks, and I hate complaining and making bad confessions but I have been constantly dizzy and nauseas everyday. For this fact, my boyfriend's mom has had it on her heart to pray for me. She knows that when I worry, I tend to get myself all worked up and sick over it. But on the other hand, God also tends to speak to me in such deep manners that it often gives me an uneasy feeling in my stomach. So Lisa came in the room last night when Andrew and I were skyping, and she was advising me not to worry about anything, because God is in control of everything. I didn't even realize I was worried until I opened up my bible and read Matthew 6:25-27 (NLT):

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?"

Then it all hit me at once, the worries that I have tangled up inside of me. Here is a list:

1) Transition period --> Am I where I'm supposed to be right now? Where will I be next year, and the following years? What does my future hold?
2) School --> Current grades, applications, where I'm going to be college-wise in the Fall
3) Summer jobs --> God is telling me not to go back to the cinema this summer, so my desire is to work at the summer recreation program in my village but that is a really difficult job to get, and in the meantime I am broke.

But you know what? God grabbed ahold of my heart tonight. He told me that if I seek His kingdom above all other things, living righteously, He will give me everything that I need (Matthew 6:33). After reading these scriptures, I have gained a refreshed trust in my God, becoming fully aware that He has everything in His hands.

And I will go back to my all-time favorite scripture:
Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Peace is not the absence of affliction, but the presence of God.

There are too many jumbled up thoughts about this in my head right now.
But to put it quite simply, I miss Ithaca.
Not only that, but I miss having a life.
Wait - let me rephrase that. Lately I've been learning how to word things more carefully, so that they are full of truth and so that there is no chance of them turning into a bad confession.

I miss LIVING my life.
Yes, obviously I'm still alive. Breathing, blinking, typing up this blog.
But this transition period is almost becoming too much to bear. Bears are powerful and strong - two things I lack by my own ability, but two things I am able to obtain through God's willingness to guide me through.

That is where my trust is lying, and He is who I am believing to receive direction from.

It's all about God's perfect timing, and the peace that comes alongside it.

I yearn for His direction and that peace of knowing that I am taking the proper next step.